Nothing Remains
by westpoints
Summary: [complete] 'Addison Montgomery. Will. Have. A baby.' In defense of Addison in 'Desire,' and in preparation for LA. Our favorite redhead's many, many mistakes with men in Seattle. Potential companion to 'Nothing is Real.'


Dear Shonda: While I realize that you are a very good writer, I must protest your recent treatment of Addison Montgomery. I hope you will rectify this situation by sending her to LA to not have a baby, but to seduce Taye Diggs' character successfully so that for once in her life, Addison will get what she needs. However, in the very likely event that you don't, I'm writing this in defense of Addison's behavior in the last episode, "Desire," and to make me feel a little better about being an Addison fan. Please don't hate me. And please make Burke-Yang's wedding pretty.

Sincerely,

TehFuzzyPenguin

* * *

She'd come to Seattle to win back Derek.

Scratch that; she'd come to Seattle to win back the man she loved, and it wasn't until a slutty-should-totallly-be-hated-but-somehow-just-pitiful intern slept with him at a sickeningly juvenile prom that she realized that she didn't really love him. She didn't really not love him so much as lose him, but the outcome was the same.

Well, that was a waste of a plane ticket.

Mark came to Seattle once to win her back, which he failed, and again to take her back, which he also failed, but then stayed to maybe just win her.

But she couldn't love Mark, because someone like Mark was not meant for commitment to someone like Addison, and if she loved him, then there would be a commitment, and then he would be Not Mark.

She wasn't very comfortable with Mark being Not Mark.

Which inherently meant that she couldn't stop thinking about him. About all the reasons he wasn't good for her. On that list: he was a manwhore, he probably had more clothes than she did, he was rude, he was inconsiderate, he would be a horrible father to children she would most certainly have, and he couldn't cook on his own. The opposing argument: he was Mark Sloan.

Which could also be applied to Alex Karev, if she knew his cooking abilities and the size of his wardrobe. But then, Karev was nice, Karev was caring, Karev pretended to be callous but really wasn't, Karev probably knew the critical skills of playing catch with little kids. Karev was, in essence, Not Mark, which was to say that he was the opposite of Mark, but in similar packaging.

She wasn't comfortable with that, either, but she liked being uncomfortable about it.

So she had some sort of heart-to-heart with Callie, who had her own problems with George and Stevens, in which she just made Callie more paranoid and Callie just made her lust after Karev more. It felt strange, that Izzie Stevens went from Addison's Promising Intern to the Denny Duqette Situation (situation, like she was just an unfortunate scenario) to Callie O'Malley's Meredith Grey. And she didn't even notice the change until she realized that Izzie was not longer her intern. Her intern was Karev now.

Addison watched Karev in the OR, watched him grip Eva's hand too tightly, watched him stroke her face too gently, and masked some sort of irrational jealousy under genuine concern for another Denny Duqette Situation.

Which was perfectly legitimate, even if he didn't think so. Karev was defensive, he was quick, he was talking over her muted admonishments, lecturing _her_, and she let him because really, irrational jealousy was ridiculously hard to hide under a flimsy mask of concern.

He spewed words, good words, she was sure, but besides the words there was his voice, and his throat and his jaw, teeth, tongue, lips, teeth, tongue, lips, tongue, lips lips lips kiss.

And just like that last time she approached him, he didn't pull away, so she assumed that this time, he meant it.

Because, after all, sex was more binding than a simple kiss.

So she'd given in. She broke the deal with Mark, by doing Not Mark, which, by all means, she was fine with, if she got her fix of Mark by the end of the day.

And she was still a wildly attractive woman, so of course Mark would say yes to an invitation to drink, if only to call off the deal so they could make up for a very long time without each other.

He didn't.

Actually, she wasn't as surprised by his refusal as she was by his lie. He _lied_. Mark did a very Not Mark thing and _lied_. He gave her a way out, for once in her life, and now she didn't want it.

She'd lost Mark.

She'd lost Derek, she'd lost Mark.

Alex was still there.

Last time, last time he said he wasn't into her, and it was really something she should have been prepared for, because he was a bravado kind of guy. But this time, this time was real, this time was something they both wanted. She would cleverly disguise her rebound lust in a flirtatious offer to help study. Which would work, because she was still a wildly attractive woman.

He pulled the "I'm not into you" card again.

The rejection hurt more than the others, probably because it felt like her last resort.

Probably because her not-yet-born child just lost a father who could do barbeques and play catch. Even if he pretended he didn't. Probably because, in turning her down, he was being very Not Mark, but then, Mark was also being Not Mark, and now there were two Not Mark's, and she didn't know what to do with either of them.

So now she'd lost Derek, she'd lost Mark, she'd lost Karev.

She'd come to Seattle to find the man she loved. She lost every man in her life. Well.

She could still have a baby.

She could still have a baby, and she still had a man in L.A., who looked like Taye Diggs.

And with him, she _would_ get this baby.

She would even teach the kid to play catch, once she learned how to play, herself.

Addison Montgomery. Will. Have. A baby.

* * *

Okay, seriously? I really don't think Addison needs a baby. I think she needs a man. I think she's lonely, I think she's trying too hard, and I think she needs to stop putting herself through so much crap. In short, in two days, OMG TAYE. 


End file.
